Behind Door No 3
by honeycakehorse
Summary: Mrs. Weasley can't believe her eyes when she makes a late night bed check. Please, read the WARNING at the top or bottom first!


Title: Behind Door No. 3

Pairing: various (het)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Mrs. Weasley can't believe her eyes when she makes a late night bed check.

Warning: Scroll to bottom, as it contains spoilers, but as there is nothing graphic here anyway...

**Behind Door No. 3**

"Harry Potter and Nymphadore Tonks! What do you think you're doing?" Harry snatched his head up from where it had been quite comfortably busy between Tonks' legs. That wasn't a voice he had ever wanted to hear in this situation.

He glanced back over his shoulders and with a wild dive under the duvet decided that this also was a situation he had never wanted to be seen in by that particular person.

He looked back at the door and there, illuminated by the light coming from behind her, stood his worst nightmare: Mrs. Weasley; hands on her hips and probably a scowl on her face. He couldn't quite make it out against the light from behind.

He could hear wheezing from the door frame and felt Tonks joining him under the duvet. He was almost distracted by her soft skin sliding over his, but then he remembered who was in the room. Better not to get too excited. Eventually, the unatural silence was broken by Mrs. Weasley. She sounded as if she had accidentially swallowed a doxy. "Both of you, out here... in two minutes."

She marched back out into the light and Harry and Tonks follwed her with their eyes, then turned to look at each other. Harry made a horizontal motion across his throat and Tonks nodded, making her blue curls bounce. They didn't speak while Harry put on his boxers and Tonks pulled on a pair of jeans. Really, there was nothing to say, either Mrs. Weasly would kill them or they could have a good laugh about this later on.

"Nymphadora, come out immediately!"

Tonks pulled her shirt down the rest of the way and grumbled under her breath about there being no need for being unneccesarily cruel. Harry grinned at this and watched now more amused than horrified, when she stood opposite of Molly Weasley in the middle of the hall.

"Already here. I didn't think you'd appreciate it if I came out of there half naked."

"You shouldn't have been in there naked in the first place." Mrs. Weasley watched Tonks' shirt distatefully. "Not that you aren't almost anyway. Not even proper support are you wearing."

Harry was hard pressed to supress his sniggers when Tonks lifted the neckline of her shirt from her body and looked at her boobs. "I don't think they're big enough that I really need to wear a bra all the time."

She let the shirt snap back just in time for the door to Bill's and Neville's room to open. A bed-haired and befuddled Bill looked out. "Wha's goin' on?"

He looked from Harry to Tonks, then to his mother and grinned. "Ah, you finally found out, did you?" He turned to Harry. "Told you to be more careful with the locking charms."

Harry could see that Mrs. Weasley was just ready to start another tirade when a blond head peeked out from under Bill's arm. "Bill, what iz going on, 'oney? The bed iz getting cold."

Bill quickly threw a glance at his mother, then pushed Fleur behind him and closed the door.

Mrs. Weasley stared at the door for a moment, then hollered. "Bill, didn't I tell you, until I see a ring on your finger, you are not going to share a room? And what did you do with poor Neville? You were supposed to share that room." She rounded on Tonks and Harry again and Harry gulped. His mirth at seeing Bill getting into trouble for a change, quickly evaporating. She stared at them. "And what did you do to Ron? If I find you made him sleep on of those sofas in the library with all those Dark Arts books nearby, just so you could..."

Harry never got to know just what Mrs. Weasley was going to do to them - although he had a fairly good idea.

The door to Hermione's and Ginny's room had opened and a boxer-clad red-head tiptoed out and closed the door with a quiet click. He was halfway to the bathroom before he noticed the three people in the hall, zeroed in on his mother and threw her a panicked glance.

"Er..."

"Ronald! Has the whole house gone crazy?" She moved towards Ron and Harry winced when she pulled him towards Harry by his ear. "And you will stay there!"

"But Mum..."

"No argument!"

"But I need to go to the loo."

Mrs. Weasley threw him a glare. "Then go. And then you will go back to your bed."

She moved the rest of the way to the door to the girl's room and swung it open. In fascination, Harry could only watch. Tonks was standing beside him now, probably glad that the fury of Mrs. Weasley had been redirected at somebody else.

She pushed the door open and with the restraint of a field marschall on bed check she shouted. "Hermione, come out here this instance!"

And if Harry had thought that Hermione was going to come out blushing brightly and looking like she wanted the floor to open up under he her, he had been wrong. She strode out of the room, head held high and a blue robe wrapped around her. In the doorway she walked right past Mrs. Weasley and only stopped in the middle of the hallway. She turned around and Harry watched fascinated when she talked to Mrs. Weasley. "Yes?"

Mrs. Weasley moved her mouth a few times without a sound emerging, then she finally collected herself. "What do you think you're doing, young lady? I will not tolerate such a behaviour under my roof." Harry's eyebrows rose at that. Technically, this was his house, currently rented to the Order, but he was wise enough to keep quiet. Wouldn't want to draw attention to Tonks and him again.

Hermione looked at Mrs. Weasley coolly and finally responded. "I really don't see why you make such a fuss about this. As long as everybody involved has consented and the right precautions are being taken to avoid any mishaps, this certainly isn't for you to worry about."

"I shouldn't worry when my children engage in such... indecent behaviour?"

"Mrs. Weasley, you have seven children, five of which are fully grown adults. You will have to deal with the fact that all of them are sexually active. It isn't anything to be worried about. As I said, at Hogwarts we learn the necessary precaution spells and as long as everybody is emotionally mature enough to decide what they want, there is nothing wrong with an active sex life. Current Muggle researches have even shown that sex is an important fact in the process of growing into a fully functioning human being. If the sex drive is repressed, it can only have bad consequences, and I really didn't think you'd want that for your children."

Half-way through Hermione's speech the door to the bathroom had opened and Harry could see Ron standing in the door frame, his mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out.

Actually, he looked very much like his mother at the moment. Mrs. Weasley finally collected herself enough to force a few words out. "I will not be spoken to that way! Never in my whole life..."

"Well, perhaps that is the problem, Mrs. Weasley. I mean no disrespect, but you take a rather active role in the life of your children and thereby forcing your children to agree with you or face the consequences. They have no possibility to enter into a healthy discussion with you on an adult level. See, my parents got me this book about..."

Mrs. Weasley held up a hand. "I don't want to hear it. We'll talk in the morning." She looked around one last time and then looked she remembered something. "Where are Ginny and Neville?"

She looked at faces around her. Ron bright red and hoping from one foot to another, Hermione still staring at her with her arms crossed over her chest, Tonks inspecting her hair as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world and Harry studying the floor like a life line. He would not look up. Nobody could make him.

In his periphery vision he could see Mrs. Weasley glancing at the last door to Tonks and Fleur's room, and then he quickly looked down again when she turned back towards them. "No. Tell me they aren't."

She give a great huff and Harry studied the floor a bit more intently. He heard her walk to the door and bang against it. "Ginevra! Neville! If you don't come out this second, you will regret it!"

Harry looked back up at the scene before him. It seemed unreal. All of them hapazardly dressed, Mrs. Weasley in her dressing gown, and a night cap over her hair, standing there like an avenging angel, her foot tapping impatiently.

After a few moments of tension, the door slowly opened and revealed a bleary-eyed Ginny and a blushing Neville. Before Mrs. Weasley could even start on another tirade, the last door in the hall opened, revealing two identical red heads. "Oi, what's going on here? Some people are trying to sleep you know."

Mrs. Weasley looked from one person to the other, finally coming to a decision. "This is not over. We will discuss this in the morning once everybody is dressed." She marched towards the staircase, but turned around one last time. "I never thought I would say this, but are the twins the only ones who have a shred of decency in them? You should really think about your behaviour here tonight!"

With this last bellow, she tore up the stairs and to her bedroom, leaving behind some very perplexed people. They look at each other for a minute, then everybody eventually said goodnight and the doors closed one by one.

The twins' was the last one to lock with a muttered charm and Fred looked at his brother. "You heard that Forge? We are the only decent ones." He grinned and then leaned forward to kiss George full on the mouth. He stepped out of his boxers. "Coming to bed, oh brother mine?"

END

Warning: twincest


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